Aster's Ledger

Summary

The party fought a running battle against ghouls in the cave's lower halls, using Beatrix's spike growth and Shoomit's rifle to grind them down — a fight that cost Beatrix her flying companion Bone, eaten mid-battle by a ghoul. After a burrito-driven break they pushed west to a strange underground pool, where a magical envelope slipped into Beatrix's pocket turned out to be a birthday gift: a pill that guarantees one perfect roll. Shoomit's stealthy swim up the subterranean river woke a giant constrictor snake that bloodied Glomblax before withdrawing underwater, and the session ended with the party standing at a barricaded door, listening to a crowd of voices joking on the other side.

Key Events

Ghouls in the Spiked Hall (in progress)

• Beatrix laid out her spike growth — she'd already cast it, and read the table the details: camouflaged terrain, 2d4 piercing per five feet moved, no saving throw, and any creature that didn't see it cast must spend an action on a Wisdom (Perception) or Survival check against her spell save DC to recognize the hazard. "I will cast that shit."
• Bone was posted as bait — Beatrix set her flying companion at the end of the hallway, "bone flapping enticingly," to lure the ghouls into the spikes.
• The table named the ghouls — a long riff about "the Gabagool," a cured-meat ghoul, and offensive Italian stereotypes, with Beatrix insisting the Italians should have "their own homeland where they can be free." "It's called Italy."
• The first ghoul walked straight into the spikes — and got shredded. Beatrix, delighted: "Oh, dumb bitch. You stupid stupid bitch."
• The ghouls got smart — one ghoul crossed 15 feet of spikes for 14 piercing damage and came out bloodied, and after that the rest refused to follow. Beatrix was outraged that her second-level spell was being respected: "They should just walk through it, honestly." The DM: "Why would a ghoul walk through when he sees the other one getting cut up?"
• Glomblax held his turn at the corner — waiting with his stone sight for the ghouls to come to him. "Nobody is coming around the corner like I wanted them to."
• Shoomit shot blind — beyond his torchlight he couldn't see a thing, so Beatrix got behind him and guided his hands: "It's like that movie Ghost, but with your gun." Shoomit rolled a natural 20 for 7 damage and complained, "Just a normal attack roll. So boring."
• The DM drew himself up — "You fool. You've angered my ghouls." Shoomit: "Should I not have done that?" Then, deadpan: "No. I have to be told what to do." Beatrix: "My player agency."
• John Robertson tried a food jingle — moving into Shoomit's torchlight, he performed a fast-food jingle to entice the ghouls toward the spikes. The DM: "They're looking hungrier than ever. They're like, oh my goodness. Is that the Wendy girl?" The table spent the next minute on square burgers.
• Beatrix invented the cheese grater — she used thorn whip to drag a ghoul ten feet back through the spikes: 2 piercing from the whip plus 4 from the barbs. The DM reported the ghoul "actually looks better than ever." Beatrix: "Should've just shot him, but whatever."
• A ghoul missed Beatrix on a natural 1 — its bite went wide.
• John cast vicious mockery on a ghoul he could only hear — 4 damage, and it dropped dead. He then declined to hand out any bardic inspiration whatsoever: "You guys don't seem that bad."
• Beatrix used feline agility for the first time — burning her Tabaxi trait (double speed, unusable again until she spends a turn moving zero feet) to reposition down the hall.
• Beatrix shot a ghoul for 13 — bloodied it. "Fuck that guy."
• Glomblax came charging after her — "You shouldn't be going so far ahead without no protection."
• Beatrix used true strike on her short sword — advantage, 6 damage, and grumbled that her claws aren't worth using. The DM offered toxoplasmosis as a consolation prize.
• Glomblax cut a ghoul in half — a reckless attack that hit and finished it.
• More ghouls circled behind them — the party bickered about the scouting. Beatrix: "Glomblax, every six seconds, want you to call out where they are." DM: "Have you guys considered that they can move?" Glomblax, wounded: "Not my fault you guys ran in front of me."
• A ghoul ate Bone — 19 to hit, and Bone was crunched and dissolved into wisps of spirit energy. "Bone has been thoroughly eaten." Beatrix: "I'm enraged."
• Beatrix shot its killer for 13 and Glomblax finished it — the ghoul sliced in half, and the fight was over.
• Torch rules got corrected mid-fight — the DM had Shoomit's light radius wrong, admitted Shoomit could have seen most of the ghouls the whole time, and fixed the token. John lit a torch of his own. When Shoomit won a rules argument about Steady Aim's movement cost, the DM declared: "Astra, strike that from the record."

Break: Burritos and Burrito-Adjacent Debate

• The DM called a seven-minute break — to drive to a burrito shop and get food for his wife Effie after her night shift at the library, promising the table would be rewarded for their patience.
• The table filled the gap with pure digression — a heated rice-in-a-burrito debate ("I'm worried that what they're gonna do is they're gonna give me less meat because I'm ordering with rice"), a long argument about whether Gotham, Metropolis, or New York City is a stand-in for Cleveland, Toronto, or Philadelphia, DiGiorno rising crust, LeBron James, Tai Lopez's alleged Ponzi scheme, and Elon Musk's car-Grok. Shoomit's player established that whenever he dashes, "my hands go behind my back like I'm Naruto running"; Glomblax's player corrected him: "No clasp behind your back. You're a gentleman running."

The Underground Pool

• The party headed west toward the sound of waves — through a passage into a chamber with a dark pool at its centre, seashells and ocean debris scattered at the edge, small fish swimming in the shallows. The DM noted this is strange, because the cave is nowhere near the coast and they haven't traveled that deep.
• Beatrix caught a fish with her claws — 13 on the strike, and she hauled one out and ate it.
• She failed her Constitution save (8) and threw it back up — "It's a fish in an underground cavern... It's a weird fish that you caught from water in an underground cave." Beatrix was not satisfied: "I'm a cat. Why couldn't I eat the fish?"

An Envelope in the Pocket

• Beatrix felt a burning in her pocket — a sealed envelope that had been slipped in without her noticing. Glomblax had one too.
• Glomblax refused to say what was in it — "I think it's better to find out yourself." Beatrix: "I don't like surprises." This became a ten-minute standoff, with Glomblax offering only "I'm still here, ain't I? That's all I'm gonna say."
• Beatrix rolled a natural 20 Insight — she confirmed Glomblax was neither enchanted nor compelled, just deliberately being coy. An Arcana check (10, boosted with inspiration) turned up nothing magical on him — though he did seem to be in unusually good spirits, "glowing metaphorically."
• The envelope refused to be opened insincerely — when Beatrix tried to lift the flap with suspicion in her heart, it resisted; she got the impression it wanted to be received with joy, "perhaps as if you were receiving a gift." She dipped it in the pool (it sizzled) and a little fish nibbled at it.
• She finally tore it open with her claws — inside was a note: "when things are going south, put this in your mouth, wishing you a special day to keep the beasts away," and a small pill. Glomblax had received one as well.
• The DM explained the gift — a birthday present for both players: the pill guarantees one automatic success on any roll, no action required — any ability check, or an attack treated as a critical hit. Beatrix, unmoved by sentiment: "Beatrix doesn't like surprises. Beatrix doesn't have a lot of trust in her heart." She pocketed it.

The River and the Snake

• Shoomit chose to swim — leaving his torch on the bank, he stealthily swam up the subterranean river rather than walk the shore. Something brushed against him, and the DM called for initiative: a giant constrictor snake. John: "I hope there wasn't some kind of giant constrictor snake." Beatrix: "Shoomit hates giant constrictor snakes."
• Glomblax tried to haul Shoomit out and couldn't — the water drops to twenty feet deep a few feet from shore (three feet at the very edge), so he couldn't reach. Shoomit waved him off: he swims well and can disengage. "Hippopotami can swim so well and so beautifully."
• Shoomit shot it point blank — confirming the snake was "hungry," he produced his musket from a plastic bag in "the waterproof folds of my stomach," shot it at advantage, then took the disengage action and swam for shore. "Should I not have done that, guys?" Beatrix: "The rest of us didn't even know the snake was there until you shot it."
• Beatrix hit it for 7 — a 17 to hit, and the snake went under.
• John cast command: "Halt" — the snake failed its Wisdom save and did nothing for a turn. The table briefly checked whether the target needs to understand the language; the DM ruled it didn't matter. "Have at it, boys."
• Glomblax refused to swim in full plate — "It has to come to me." He planted himself on the bank, slapped the water with his hand like a dying fish, and called out, "Mr. Sssnakie, come and get me." Then, tapping: "Sneaky. Sneaky. Sneaky."
• The snake struck — its constrict failed ("You're too slippery"), but it lunged and bit Glomblax for 10 piercing damage, bloodying him. Then it withdrew ten feet under the water.
• John handed Glomblax bardic inspiration — "the Grump" — advantage on Charisma checks and Strength saving throws, plus a reaction to add the inspiration die and his Charisma modifier to damage.
• The party split on whether to stay — Glomblax: "I'm hurting a lot, but I do think that we should leave." Beatrix wanted it dead. Shoomit scouted ahead and reported that the water leads somewhere further in.
• Beatrix attempted a snake-charming song — with John backing her on guitar (Performance 19), she rolled Animal Handling and got a 13. The snake ended up charmed by John and still hungry for Beatrix, and combat was called off.

The Barricaded Door

• Beatrix tried a door and found it barricaded from the other side — not locked, just blocked, and she could hear several voices beyond it talking and joking with each other in Common.
• The session stopped there — "Perhaps we will discover what's behind this door next week."
• Inspiration was handed out — Harish's carried-over inspiration went to both Glomblax (for playing the birthday gift perfectly coy) and Beatrix (for playing the suspicion honestly). "I'm being stubborn as fuck." "Which one of us was being stubborn?" "It was you."

Numbers & Resources

Party funds & deals

• Nothing notable — no gold changed hands this session.

Combat resources spent

• Beatrix — cast spike growth (2nd level; she noted she was down to roughly half her spell slots by the snake fight); used thorn whip (2 damage + 4 from spikes), true strike, and feline agility (Tabaxi trait, unusable again until she spends a turn moving zero feet). Shot ghouls for 13 damage twice, hit with her short sword for 6, and hit the snake for 7 and later 10 (on a 26).
• Bone (Beatrix's flying companion) — killed and eaten by a ghoul; dissolved into wisps of spirit energy.
• John Robertson — cast vicious mockery (4 damage, killed a ghoul) and command ("Halt," 1st level; the snake failed its save). Gave Glomblax bardic inspiration with "the Grump" (advantage on Charisma checks and Strength saves; reaction to add the die + Charisma modifier to damage).
• Glomblax — took 10 piercing damage from the snake's bite and was bloodied; killed two ghouls outright with reckless attacks.
• Shoomit — fired several musket shots, used Steady Aim, and disengaged out of the water; left his torch on the bank and retrieved it.
• The giant constrictor snake — took 7 then 10 from Beatrix plus a point-blank musket hit with sneak attack; failed its command save, failed its constrict, and withdrew ten feet underwater still alive.

Gear notes

• Birthday pill (Beatrix and Glomblax, one each) — delivered in a magically-appearing sealed envelope that burned in the pocket, resisted insincere opening, and sizzled when dipped in water. The note reads: "when things are going south, put this in your mouth, wishing you a special day to keep the beasts away." The pill grants one automatic success on any roll — treat it as a critical hit or an automatic pass on any check — with no action required.
• Shoomit's musket — kept in a plastic bag (with sunscreen) inside "the waterproof folds" of his hippo hide when swimming.
• Shoomit's wishlist — luminescent bullets so the party can mark targets he can't see, and a "really cool gun," both of which he thinks the forge could make.

Loose Threads

• The barricaded door — several voices behind it, joking with each other in Common. Not yet opened.
• The giant constrictor snake — wounded, it withdrew ten feet under the pool and was left alive.
• The underground river — Shoomit saw that the water leads somewhere further into the cave; unexplored.
• The forge — Shoomit wants the party to seek it out next, both to upgrade his gun and to make luminescent ammunition.