Aster's Ledger

Summary

The party's plan to quietly spare Reidoth — charm her into a card game, then fake her death — collapsed when Beatrix's merciful bonk broke the charm and started a brawl that ended with the dragon Venomfang slitting Reidoth's throat and a one-week deadline to return with slaves. Beatrix left the tower with a heart-scratched sending stone and a "relationship" she claims she's playing, survived Reidoth's poisoned squirrel bite by wild-shaping into an opossum through the rest of the journey and overnight, fought off wolves at dusk, and closed the session standing before the crumbling, heavily guarded Cragmaw Castle.

Key Events

The Tower at Thundertree: A Charmed Druid and a Card Game

• Shoomit's stealth climb — Shoomit tried to sneak up the tower unnoticed, but Reidoth spotted him: "Shoomit, are you a part of this game that they're playing?" Shoomit played dumb ("they're just being silly guys") and John, listening through the door, yelled back: "Fuck you, Shoomit!"
• Beatrix charmed Reidoth — Peeking under the door, Beatrix cast charm person (DC 14 WIS save; Reidoth failed) on the druid: "Reidoth, you just get comfy. Play cards with those gentlemen." Reidoth: "Well, this is an odd situation, but I suppose this is just how you folks make friends, isn't it?"
• Reidoth discovers the cards — Favric taught Reidoth the cultists' beloved card game and admitted he only had "my three backup decks on my person" — he'd fetch a proper starter deck "if they would let me leave here." Thirty minutes in, they were still on round two: Favric frozen deciding between a colored and non-colored land while Reidoth, a fast learner, lectured him on "the proper ordering of mana ramp."
• Beatrix forgets the name — When Beatrix asked for the dragon's name, John offered "Dragonias?" The DM noted that Beatrix had forgotten the name of her lover from earlier that day; Beatrix denied it: "Beatrix did not forget." The dragon's name is Venomfang. John later asked, "do Dragonborn count?" when first-times-with-dragons came up; Venomfang replied, "I really don't wanna know if there have been Dragonborn involved. I like to think of myself as the first."
• Venomfang's return — Beatrix sensed him on the wind, and the dragon gathered everyone: "Come in, my new friends. I don't bite." He asked Beatrix to "do the honors" — kill Reidoth, as their deal (the party's lives for Reidoth and the cultists) required.
• "She's an innocent woman" — Beatrix refused: "I can't bring myself to do it." Venomfang: "She's been causing me trouble, and I thought we would have a shared moment." Beatrix: "Convince me." Reidoth, still charmed, asked, "we're good friends, aren't we, Beatrix?" Beatrix answered, "Well, for the next forty-five minutes, we are." The DM put it closer to fifteen.
• Debating the big fight — Jonas floated attacking the dragon ("There's a bunch of us now"); Beatrix vetoed — "He will totally kill it" — and John noted the cultists were only half-willing slaves: "the only person who was into it was their leader."
• The Bone-as-telephone — John whispered a plan (knock Reidoth out, carry her out as a "body") — but Beatrix was standing between Venomfang's legs and heard every word. Sign language failed, so John "picked up Bone like a phone" and whispered the plan into the bat's ears. "Use him as a telephone."
• The merciful bonk — Beatrix true-striked and hit Reidoth with a nonlethal short-sword bonk on the head. The charm shattered; initiative was rolled. Venomfang was unimpressed: "That is not how you stab somebody. That is poor work. I would almost think you did that on purpose."

The Fight of the Charred Squirrel

• Everyone stalls — Shoomit held his turn: "I feel like there was another solution here that we kinda delayed." Favric and Therryn both quietly prepared actions, hands on their sickles; Glomblax stuck by John.
• The missed alternative — During the tower fight, Beatrix wondered why they had not talked Reidoth into moving to Cragmaw Castle. John noted that Shoomit had the party's highest Intelligence (12): "we're all canonically pretty fucking stupid." John also called the outcome "one innocent woman we gotta kill in a whole adventure" with "pretty good odds."
• Reidoth goes squirrel — "I cannot believe you would all side with a dragon instead of a druid such as myself. My clan will hear about this." She polymorphed into a squirrel and bolted for a crack in the wall.
• Grapple rules chaos — Beatrix's grapple became a full 2024-rules debate over whether an "arm strike" needed an attack roll; it settled on a DC 9 saving throw, the squirrel rolled poorly, and Beatrix had her. Then the squirrel bit her for 1 piercing: "something is not right about this bite... your arm doesn't feel quite right." ("You're for sure poisoned. Rabies. Chop off the arm right now.")
• Sky-drop schemes — Beatrix suggested Bone fly the squirrel up and drop her. John added that, if she "unpolymorph[ed]" midair, "she'll just turn into a woman and fall a hundred feet"; he also contributed the real-world fact: "Squirrels can survive a terminal velocity fall." Beatrix instead had Bone take the Help action to distract Reidoth.
• John's Tasha's attempt — Hideous laughter rolled off the squirrel, so John granted Beatrix Bardic Inspiration instead — flavored as a "huge childlike spirit" aura granting +10 ft. speed and save rerolls.
• Burning hands the squirrel — Venomfang repositioned and readied an action ("Now, enough with these games. Beatrix, finish what you started"). Beatrix held the squirrel to her palm and point-blank burning-hands'd it: 14 fire damage. Reidoth reverted to a charred druid, still grappled. "The charred squirrel has been interesting," purred Venomfang. "It would be even more funny if you ended her life."
• Thunderwave at the card table — Grappled Reidoth cast thunderwave. Beatrix was shoved 10 feet through the door (grapple broken), and the blast tore through the cultists: Favric barely survived (bloodied), while Therryn, Donnal, and two more died on the spot, their cards scattering like Sonic's rings. "They just wanted to play cards." Favric, horrified: "Why did this have to happen to us?"
• The escape — Reidoth fled through the door past Shoomit, who was hidden in the doorway rubble rather than blocking it. She slipped past (Dex 16), slammed the door, and vanished outside. (Shoomit had chosen "hidden" over "blocking the doorway": "With my britches and pale skin.")
• Caught laughing — Bone flew down first to use the Help action and distract Reidoth. John then caught up and dropped a second hideous laughter; Reidoth failed, collapsing on the ground, incapacitated and laughing for a full minute.

Venomfang's Judgment

• "John, you would never betray me. Right?" — Venomfang thanked John for his service, flew down, and rent Reidoth: 21 damage put her down, "extremely bloody." As Venomfang raised his second claw and asked whether John would betray him, John answered: "No. Why would I?" John's persuasion (a 24) bought only amusement — "John, you amuse me" — and the second claw slit Reidoth's throat in a gory, gurgling death. His inner monologue afterwards: "Yeah, we're not fixing that."
• The cultists flee — and escape — Orin ran, screaming "What the fuck? This is not what we signed up for, Favric!" Favric answered: "Shut the fuck up. This is all part of the plan." Shoomit tried to whip the runners but had no reaction left: "Get back here, you!" — and Orin and Grist bolted. Favric limped after them, and all three made the tree line and vanished into the wood while the party's hands were full with Venomfang.
• Beatrix's bluff — Beatrix found the body and bluffed: "Well, damn. You didn't have to do all that. We had her, Venomfang, darling." Venomfang demanded she kill one of the still-living fellows for show; her staged shooting of a corpse (performance 16) was seen through: "No. I wanted to see it, Beatrix."
• Mama Marsh lays down the law — Beatrix refused to stay, demanded letters, promised "I'm gonna take over that fucking castle for you... mama Marsh gonna take care of it", and sealed it with "I'm gonna fuck you like you've never been fucked before" — persuasion with advantage ("sexy persuasion") failed; the dragon was "not very persuaded" and asked to keep John instead. "No. I need John."
• The slave bargain — Shoomit took over: "This lady killed all your dang slaves... we should go find you some new slaves. This is a four-man job." Venomfang warmed to it. Shoomit: "We'll get you a hundred slaves by the end of the week." Glomblax: "How many people do we have to enslave for you, Venomfang?" / "Shut the fuck up, Shoomit." Venomfang put the count in Shoomit's hands: "As many as you think would be prudent for a dragon of my stature." Beatrix's counteroffer (three weeks, plus Cragmaw Castle) was overruled: one week, "or I will come find you." Able-bodied people; "anyone can train up to build."
• Parting gifts — Venomfang gave Beatrix a sending stone, breathing his name onto it and scratching a little heart at her request: "I hope to hear from you soon... I certainly hope this is not a ploy to simply leave the area." John dubbed it "the stinking stone." On the way out the dragon fake-swiped at Glomblax — "Got you... just a little taste of what happens if you don't bring my slaves" — and Glomblax "sharted a little bit" on the spot. "Two for flinching."
• Texting the dragon — Within minutes Beatrix was on the sending stone: "you up?" → "yeah. miss you. heart, smiley face" → "u and the number 2" — for thirty straight minutes. Shoomit called him "the loser loseriest loser dragon that we've encountered."

Zombies, Wolves, and a Very Sick Beatrix

• The groaning building — Passing a ruined building bearing a weathered sign of a workhorse with a flag and veil, the party heard groaning from inside. John sniffed out beer; Beatrix's thirty-minute texting roused the residents, and the party ran rather than fight — zombies "aren't that fast." They never looted the dead cultists' cards: "They're worthless to me." ("I hated that game." Beatrix: "I'm starting to like it. It looked kinda cool.")
• Reidoth's corpse rides along — Beatrix retroactively grabbed Reidoth's body for the wagon: "If anyone asks, I'm doing druidic magics." John: "As soon as she starts to smell, I'm throwing her off the wagon into the woods." Beatrix floated making a wand from her bones — then "a dildo that you could shove in your mouth and shut the fuck up."
• Debrief on the road — Beatrix felt rotten about Reidoth; John and Shoomit pointed out that Reidoth had been about to send them to their deaths and had refused to help.
• Marching south — With the one-week deadline ticking, the party rolled down the Triboar Trail through the Neverwinter Wood past looted corpses — toward the now-revealed location of Cragmaw Castle.
• The wolves — At dusk near a mostly abandoned town, glowing eyes: "You probably don't even need a nature check to know those are some wolves." One "said" "that is a juicy snack" and John nearly lost it — "Holy shit, these wolves could talk" — they couldn't. Two wolves bit Glomblax (8 piercing each, 16 total). The DM retroactively granted the party the short rest they'd been due on the long cart ride, and Glomblax's AC settled at 16 (his sheet said 14).
• The wolf slaughter — Shoomit asked the pack "Wolves, you wanna be slaves?", then hid in the grass and one-shot a wolf; later, he hid again and killed a second. Beatrix summoned her wildfire spirit (the "spirit of extinction") — its arrival scorched the pack (one wolf bloodied) and its flame seed burned that bloodied wolf to death (14 fire). Glomblax killed one with a great-axe cleave, banking John's Bardic Inspiration ("You brought this upon yourself"), and John's vicious mockery made the last wolf laugh until its rib cage exploded.
• Wolf meat and the bite — John's survival check (net 1) on the carcasses: "It looks like meat... it's all meat." Then the real problem surfaced: Beatrix's squirrel bite. John's and Beatrix's medicine checks found nothing, but Glomblax rolled a 19 and recognized the wound: poison or disease — "this usually does not end well for the person involved."
• "Suck it out, John" — Beatrix demanded John suck the poison out; John declined — three hours had passed ("fully matriculated through your blood") and he wasn't parting with his alcohol: "I don't think it will help. Two, it's mine."
• The opossum gambit — Beatrix's genius plan: wild-shape into an opossum for the next several hours (chaining short rests) because opossums process venom and poison. The DM loved the real-world fact (learned from a Natural History Museum presenter). She rode on Shoomit's head; John offered to carry her by the "little rat tail"; Bone the familiar salivated. "Imagine being eaten by your own familiar."
• Camp — A peaceful, uneventful long rest; as a possum Beatrix couldn't keep real watch (she'd have to scratch someone's face awake), so Bone watched her six. In the morning, Glomblax's nat-20 medicine check confirmed the gambit: "This would have been certain death if you hadn't acted very quickly."

Cragmaw Castle

• Arrival — The party reached Cragmaw Castle: a once-tall keep now crumbling, its top stories collapsed, blending so well into the woods they understood why they'd never found it. The DM teased a "potentially very, very heavily guarded" castle ahead as the session ended.
• Inspiration and farewell — Sam offered the inspiration to Jesse; Jesse gave it to Beatrix for the opossum creativity. Closing banter: "One step closer to finding your ex-husband" — and Shoomit's realization that they'd never confirmed the party knew about it: "I don't even know if I told you that. That might have been the reveal." Jesse teased that the ex might turn out to be Gundren himself — a connection Beatrix's player noted she "hasn't put two and two together" on yet.